NL 131: Forgiveness
image: Aftermath of the Vancouver Stanley Cup Riots by Guilhem Vellut (Flickr)
Matthew 18:15-20
Initial Thoughts
Gilbert Rendles, Behavioral Covenants in Congregations is a great resource for churches to speak directly about how to live in community.
Bible Study
Literary Context. Chapter 18 includes other teaching about hospitality, searching, and forgiveness
This passage is a part of Jesus’ response to their question, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” His answer is multifaceted, and includes some of the most quotable lines of Jesus:
I assure you that if you don’t become like a little child, you will not enter the kingdom (18:3) - vulnerable and powerless (not innocent)
Whoever welcomes one such child, welcomes me. (18:5) - Jesus identified with the vulnerable, powerless and those who welcome them
If your hand or foot causes you to fall into sin, chop it off and throw it away. (18:8) - Beware of your pride! And get rid of anything that gets in your way of following Jesus
If someone had a hundred sheep and one of them wandered off, wouldn’t he leave the ninety-nine on the hillsides and go search for the one that wandered off? (18:12) - God is not interested in Return on investment or the ends justifying the means- all people are valuable and everything is risked to save even one who is lost
Then our passage: “If your brother or sister sins against you, go and correct them…”
Conflict Resolution
The focus is not winning but reconciliation: “regaining a brother[sic]” v. 15
This is simply good sense. Jesus is teaching “Thou shalt not triangulate,” and uses a simple premise found in Deuteronomy (one witness isn’t reliable), and applies it to a personal relationship, and how we live in community.
He is ordering the life of discipleship to be different from rest of culture.
Sin has consequences. Unresolved sin must be addressed. Sin must be honestly confronted.
Relationships
There is debate over the words “against you.” This could be sins that are well known in the community, or sins that are about an interpersonal relationship. Since the response is an interpersonal response, it seems as if the “against you” is appropriately included in the text.
Relationships that are loving must be honest. Without authenticity, a relationship is no longer healthy.
Jesus is interested in the way we relate to each other, and this teaching reminds us that truthfulness is important.
Pinch Method of conflict resolution and reconciliation- special thanks to Rev. Emily Davis
Systemic
Cultural sin must be addressed
Vast implications for #Ferguson, and other places where systemic sin like racism, sexism, homophobia, and jingoism go unexamined.
This is the reason “Love the sinner, hate the sin,” is a terrible compromise in issues of gender and sexuality.
Tax Collector and Gentile
Often used as justification for excommunication or shunning- yet Jesus is specifically commended for reaching out and spending time with tax collectors and sinners (Matthew 11:19)
“...from shunning them, Jesus commands us never to give up on them, never to stop reaching out in love to them, always to yearn for grace to restore what has been broken. In the next few verses, Peter needs to make sure he has heard correctly. "Lord, if a brother sins against me how often should I forgive?" Jesus' "seventy times seven" response means "as long as it takes" (vv. 21-22).” Charles Hambrick-Stowe, Feasting on the Word – Year A, Volume 4: Season After Pentecost 2 .
You cannot say to any member of the body- I have no need of you: (1 Cor. 12:12-26), but you are supposed to cut off your hand if it leads you to sinning...a tricky passage for sure.
Continue to condemn sinful words and actions without losing sight of the inherent goodness and imageo dei of the individual
“I assure you that whatever you fasten on earth will be fastened in heaven and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”
It seems like a strange aside that makes little sense.
“Although binding and loosing may in the broader context refer to declaring what is permitted or not permitted, here it seems to mean disciplinary action. The congregation has the power to punish or exclude. In so doing, it is acting on God’s behalf.” (Douglas Hare, Interpretation: Matthew p. 215)
“Again I assure you that if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, then my Father who is in heaven will do it for you.
Reminds me of being a parent of two kids. There are moments when you don’t care what they ask for, as long as they aren’t fighting over it. In Grocery Store: “I’ll buy you the stupid Sugar Crisp Cereal if you just stop fighting!”
Yet we know (hope) that’s not what Jesus is saying, and we also know that God doesn’t grant every wish, even when we agree on that wish.
“Verse 19 appears at first sight to be alien to this context… It can be paraphrased, ‘If two of you can come to an agreement regarding any disputed matter, that agreement will be blessed by my Father in heaven.” (Hare, p. 215).
This isn’t about rubbing genie lamps. It is part of the context of disputes, and reminds those of the importance of community.
The reminder that Christ is there foreshadows Christ’s post-resurrection presence in the community. It is a word of hope for those in dispute, that as long as they stay at the table to work out the conflict, Christ will be in their midst.
Wherever 2 or 3 are gathered
Every person is valuable even children (v. 5) and “lost sheep” (v.13)
No individual is considered greater than the other
Thoughts and Questions
Conflict is real, and it need not always be negative. How we handle conflict might be the single most important skill of pastoral leadership. Determining what conflict needs to be addressed, and how is extremely important, and probably should be taught more explicitly in seminaries.
“Lacking [as compared to similar ancient world systems of self-regulation] are clear decision-making procedures in the assembly, roles for stipulated officers or leaders, specified penalties and fines, and a formal means of readmittance. The instructions resist punitive provisions and emphasize ‘unbounded reproof.’ They recognize conflict and offense, but seek above all to restore the offender to reconciled relationships in the community.” (Warren Carter, Matthew and the Margins: A Sociopolitical and Religious Reading, p. 367)
Forgiveness is hard work. Truth-telling is not easy, but it is vital if you are going to have an authentic relationship. This process should be held with the 7 times 70 admonition, because too often people either rush to forgiveness, which skips the process and isn’t healthy; or they hold onto grudges, which isn’t healthy.
Matthew 18:21-35 Forgiveness
Initial Thoughts
Bible Study
Final section on living together
vv.1-4: Who is greatest
vv. 6-10: How to deal with the weakest
vv. 15-20: What to do with those who sin against us
vv. 21-35: What about the really annoying people?
When are we off the hook for forgiveness?
77 or 490 (70 x 7)? Doesn’t matter- the point is never - God doesn’t stop forgiving and so neither should we
The parable
Severity (Lewis Donelson, Feasting on the Word):
Great debt- ten thousand talents- greatest number in Greek
100,000,000 days of labor
Selling into slavery- prohibited by Jewish law and rarely done by Greeks or Romans
God and us: King and the servant part one
Threatened with damnation/ being separated from God
Confession and repentance
Mercy and Grace
Forgiveness and restoration
Us and others: Servant and his debtors
Much smaller, more manageable amount - about 100 days’ labor.
Threatened
Confession and repentance
No-mercy
Condemnation
Cheap Grace: King and servant part 2
God does not take kindly to cheap grace
Forgiveness isn’t fair or deserved
Lord’s Prayer Forgive as we forgive - do we mean the words we say?
There is an intrinsic notion of “pay it forward”
God forgives us, therefore, out of a spirit of gratitude, we are asked to forgive others.
Deserve and fairness has nothing to do with it
How many times have we been forgiven by God?
“We must be careful to distinguish between parable and allegory. As in many rabbinic parables, the figure of the king serves allegorically as a reference to God, but this does not mean that all the details of the king’s behavior can be taken as statements about the nature of God… Just as we do not regard God as an Oriental despot who would sell women into sexual slavery as punishment for their husbands’ sins, so we need not take the concluding detail about unending physical torture as indicative of the divine nature.” (Hare, p. 218)
“The theological center is the astounding magnanimity of the king. So it is with the kingdom of heaven.” (Hare, p. 218)
Mercy over sacrifice
“What’s at stake isn’t just a matter of debt and repayment or transgression and recompense. Ultimately, this is about the balance and integrity of community.”
“While the king is owed a debt, he is moved by the slave’s recognition that the debt is owed and by his seemingly heartfelt desire to make amends. It is important to the king that the slave and his family be allowed to continue as productive members of the community. Undoubtedly the king recognizes that extracting payment for the debt by selling off the slave would be disruptive to the cohesiveness of the community. Forgiving the debt may not enrich the king’s coffers, but it maintains the integrity of the community and demonstrates that mercy is the thread that holds the kingdom together.”
Forgiveness and Reconciliation
“Drawing on the works of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the Christian theologian L. Gregory Jones (1995) criticized the model of forgiveness propounded by western therapies that has been accepted by American culture. Jones argued that the influences of therapeutic conceptions have encouraged a privatized forgiveness, in which forgiveness ceases to be an interpersonal discipline and has become an intrapersonal exercise. Jones used the term privatized forgiveness to describe this act of making one party’s heart and mind feel better. He describes this is as a cheapened form of forgiveness that ignores the relational context. Private forgiveness is an easy answer to the difficult work required by Christian forgiveness” (Nathan R. Frise and Mark R. McGinn, Journal of Psychology and Theology, January 1, 2010)
“Looking at these concepts of forgiveness we see the psychological community emphasizing the intrapersonal level and the theological community emphasizing the relational level. There is value in integrating these constructs as the views of both groups of scholars describe a fundamental process and activity that occur in human life. One solution we propose is to allow for and embrace these two distinct different processes by conceptualizing forgiveness as an act that occurs on a continuum. At one pole of the continuum is subjective forgiveness and at the other pole, relational forgiveness; by moving along this continuum forgiveness is seen as an act that occurs from the inside out. Both levels of forgiveness have implicit value. Subjective forgiveness is emphasized in the research and therapies of psychology and is related to the process of inner healing. Relational forgiveness is emphasized in theological works, and involves a restoration of the offender and a reconciliation of relationship.” (Nathan R. Frise and Mark R. McGinn, Journal of Psychology and Theology, January 1, 2010)
Forgiveness and abuse
“Unlimited forgiveness is not to be confused with sentimental toleration of hurtful behavior. Christians are often guilty of forgiving too much and too quickly” (Douglas Hare, Interpretation, p. 218)
Forbearance is a prerequisite of forgiveness, the end of transgression and the safety of the victim are paramount.
Forgiveness IS NOT forgetting - God/King has not forgotten the transgressions of the servant and the servant subsequent actions remove the previous forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not a one and done act, but is a long and messy process
Relationships take a long time to repair and require sustained commitment, safety and trust
Marjorie J. Thompson quoted from Charlotte Dudley Cleghorn, Feasting on the Word “To forgive is to make a conscious choice to release the person who has wounded us from the sentence of our judgment, however justified that judgment may be. It represents a choice to leave behind our resentment and desire for retribution, however fair such punishment may seem…. Forgiveness involves excusing persons from the punitive consequences they deserve because of their behavior. The behavior remains condemned, but the offender is released from its effects as far as the forgiver is concerned. Forgiveness means the power of the original wound's power to hold us trapped is broken.” Marjorie J. Thompson, "Moving toward Forgiveness," Weavings, March-April 1992, 19
Thoughts and Questions
Debt in a broader sense
Forgiveness is an invitation into the vulnerable power of God. To let go of revenge, anger, and retribution however justified and take a chance on the possibility of either renewed relationship or a release from the oppression of anger and resentment.
Forgiveness should never be taken lightly - to do so undermines the severity of it.
Are we being honest in the Lord’s prayer when we ask for forgiveness as we forgive? If we don’t forgive then perhaps we are not forgiven.
About a spirit of gratitude - the acknowledgement of equal sinfulness before God levels the playing field and aspects of power. We are all condemned and all are offered grace. If we think we deserve grace more than someone else then we begin a slippery slope that leads away from forgiveness and love of neighbor to classism and division.
Opening music: Misirlou, One Man 90 Instruments by Joe Penna/MysteryGuitarMan at MIM
Closing Song by Bryan Odeen